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Wednesday 16 June 2010

What a Year

It'll be a year on the 29th June since i started this blog, meaning it's been a year since we found out our 'dream number 3' had CDH,
it all started on the 10th june 2009, blood test results came back high risk for downs syndrome, not a problem we can handle that, the worry was waiting for the heart scan to see if baby had the same heart problems that Nathan had, the worry of downs syndrome with the link of heart problems,
12th june we had the heart scan, can still hear the consultant clear as day as if it was yesterday, he 'thinks' he can see the 4 chambers, what a relief, then bang the BUT, i can still feel my heart stop when that BUT came, what now, then the brief explanation of the stomach being in the chest, the heart bein squashed and pushed to the side, the lungs etc etc, the only thing going through my mind was that we were going to lose this baby too, it was already a hard pregnancy to this point, after losing 2 already, but now, how the heck would we ever get through the next few months knowing only that it's 50-50.

I wish we could have seen into the future, seen just a year ahead, seen our beautiful wee boy with his very happy nature, smiling and laughing away at us, breathing all by himself, sailing through his intensive care days, we know how lucky he is to have made it through this horrible defect, we know how lucky we are that we got to bring our 3rd baby home, he's such a joy honestly no bother at all, never cries or complains about anything, yes it's been 1 hell of a long hard road but it's been worth every step, still is hard with the whole oral aversions, mega bad reflux, etc but we'll get there, he's thriving and looks such a wee chunky monkey, legs like tree trunks, i just can't believe how far we've came, everything we've been through in the last year have no idea how we done it had to i guess and having an amazing sands friend (leigh) there every step, listening to me, terrified Lewis wouldnt make it, sharing my cravings lol getting me through every day, keeping me laughing etc etc well that helped xx

don't know what else to say really, it's quite hard thinking about all that again, just so thankful to our angels for helping their brother come home
What a year!!!

4 comments:

Jaime's World said...

Hayley,
I'm with you...the memories of those ultra sounds are all too fresh! Yes, we have beautiful, happy baby boys, but it doesn't mean that those feelings go away. The "what ifs" are ALWAYS in the back of my mind!

I'm so happy that things worked out for Lewis and all of you! Enjoy your little guy this summer...I know you will! :)
Big hugs to all of you!
Sheryl

bobdoble said...

It brings tears to my eyes! You have the best gift in the world! And that is Lewis, and you are right looking at all of the aversions that you are dealing with will be a wift of time in 10 years from now! Kristen is 4.5 years old now, and I still have the 'what ifs'!!! I'm so glad to have met you and followed your journey!

Anonymous said...

exactly Sheryl, the what if's, doesn't even bear thinking about, i never thought we'd be bringing this baby home either but we did, i'm still in shock about it lol xx
he's our special wee miracle :)

Anonymous said...

Bobbi, you're right we do have the best gift in the world, we never take a second for granted, just love him so much my heart feels like it'll burst every second of every day :)
yeh i bet we look back in 10 years n think where did the time go, and won't believe how poorly he was when he was born, or how long he had a feeding tube and had these aversions etc etc, it's hard work but worth every second xxx

 

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